Burden.

 I spend a lot of time thinking about Burden.  I think about how much I have, how much I want to get rid of, what I should take on and what I should let go.  My gut reaction to any situation is based on the feeling of Burden.  In my wiring it seems that my primary objective is to remove it.  My being wants to be in a position in which I require nothing, and nothing is required of me.  This disposition has consequences of course.  Loneliness, boredom, manipulation and anxiety are just some of the burdens that pop up from trying to avoid Burden. 

Loneliness: If I remove myself from engagement, this can leave me alone.  While this is something I often crave, it also leaves me cold and hard to reach.

Boredom:  Being alone means being alone, there is just no getting around it.  Nothing to do means that there is nothing to do.

Manipulation:  A person that seeks to avoid burden, much like a person who seeks control or power, must use others to achieve their goals.  If I am to avoid responsibilities, then that responsibility falls on someone else.  The danger of being forceful or assertive in this effort to remove burdens is that you may seem like a leader type, which only brings more expectation.  Therefore, subtle manipulation is the best way forward for a guy like me.

Anxiety: Of course, no matter what your issues are, anxiety is present for most if not all of us.  The anxiety of expectation, what others want from me and what they expect can be debilitating.

I’m not proud of these things I have come to know about myself.  I’d very much like to be free of the hurdles that keep me from growing into a more compassionate, kind and generous human being.  I suppose this little confession is part of the effort to get there.  Well, not get there, but get a little further down the path.

Whatever our individual struggles with our own nature might be, it is the individuality itself that seems to compound our weaknesses.  In our American Morality we prize individuality above all.  We fight for the freedom for each individual to do whatever they want.  Our culture seems extraordinarily tolerant of bad behavior in order to preserve liberty.  There has never been a culture so focused on the rights of the individual.  This individual focus is in direct conflict with the Gospel.  Americans praise our own right to worship how we want.  But it seems we do exactly that, we praise our rights more than we actually worship.  Jesus Christ is indeed a personal God and I have been saved as an individual.  However, the goal is not individuality.  I am saved as a person to a body, to a community, to his Church.  In this body of Christ, the goal is to become less and less of myself and more and more of Him, Jesus that saved me. 

In John 3, John the Baptist is being questioned by his followers about Jesus.  The Baptist sees the big picture clearer than anyone else and knows his own position in relation to the Christ.  And that gives him Joy!

John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. 28 You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ 29 The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. 30 He must increase, but I must decrease.”

In my sin I think only of me.  The truth is that in thinking only of myself, I increase my own Burden. In this process of discovering who Jesus Christ is and what he has done, one can achieve the ultimate unburdening.  In Christ is the ultimate freedom because I don’t consider myself at all.  You see it is not the actual physical or emotional burdens that enslave, it is our efforts to hold on or avoid these burdens that enslave us.  It is the focus that defines our way forward.  In Jesus Christ we have the ultimate and complete removal of Burden.  On the cross he takes away the very sin of the world, he takes my individual sin upon himself that I might be set free.  And being set free doesn’t mean I become more of an individual, it means I become more surrendered to his will.   Being relieved of my Burdens by Christ doesn’t mean that I have less to do, it means that he gives me the Joy to act.  I can Care and Engage and Sacrifice and Serve because Salvation means that I have truly been set free to become what I was meant to be.  Not comfortable and in control, but overwhelmed with purpose and love. 

Galatians 5 - ¹³ My brothers and sisters, God chose you to be free. But don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do what pleases your sinful selves. Instead, serve each other with love.