Grace and Truth.

On a short drive to the grocery store, my eldest daughter and I were listening to a story on NPR,  Radiolab or This American Life, something to that effect.  In the story a young female comedian and writer was describing her fears and needs for approval in the context of her relationship with her parents.  She described being in a play at a young age, coming off stage and being swarmed by the praise of her mother, "You were wonderful!"  In the interview, the comedian joked "Shut up Mom, I don't need your unconditional love!"  She went on to describe her father and his withholding of approval.  One time their family was at a performance in which the entertainer on stage required a volunteer.  She was selected and went up on stage to assist the magician or whatever it was.  When she came off stage, the audience gave a nice round of applause as directed by the entertainer.  As the young girl looked out into the crowd she noticed that everyone was clapping.  Everyone except her father, who sat with his arms crossed.  After the show, she asked him why he didn't clap for her.  "You didn't do anything!" he replied.   In that moment, I identified completely with the Father.  Maybe not to that extreme, but I too withhold my approval to my girls.  I feel a strong need to be truthful and authentic.  And I feel as though I'm doing it for THEIR sake.  Later in the interview, the girl talks about confronting her father about why he so rarely praised his kids.  In effect his reply was, "Your mother tells you how great you are all the time, doesn't it mean more when it comes from me, because you know I'm being honest?"  

This hits home for me.  I want my approval to have the weight of Truth.  And like the father in the story, I too dismiss the over abundance of doting Love and Praise given by my wife to our kids.  Truth and Grace.  We feel it in society too.  There is now a growing sentiment that "Everyone can't get a trophy!".  There is some acknowledgment that this cheapens the prize for everyone.  The pendulum is always in motion though, and our current Trophy culture is a reaction to a soul crushing competitive individualism that existed before it.  Grace and Truth, Truth and Grace.  It seems we are always in motion from one extreme to the next.  Perpetually correct in our intent, but excruciatingly wrong in our approach and in our exclusion of one side over the other.  One parent says "They just need Love!"  The other says "They need discipline!"  They need acceptance, no they need boundaries!  They need to know that everything is okay, no they need to know about consequences!  They need Grace!  They need Truth!  Of course the point I'm now belaboring, is that they need both, we all do.  We set to separating these categories almost immediately. "It's all about Love."  Well, without Truth, then Love has no power.   "Truth is the only thing that matters!"  Well, without Love, the Truth is hard to see and nearly impossible to take.  One or the other leads us to a lie.  Both lead us to real change.  

For some, unconditional Love/Grace is too hard to take, because we know we didn't earn it or deserve it.  We need the Truth of Jesus Christ, that he loves because of who he is to make it possible to accept.  For others, they think that they indeed have earned the right to God's Love/Grace because of all the good things they have done.  Well those folks need the Truth of the Gospel to realize just how much they have hurt God by their self-righteousness and how much they need saving from themselves.   When we seek our own Glory, we seek a discounted and comfortable truth.  We seek a love that costs us nothing.  For mankind, balancing Grace and Truth is impossible, but that is kind of the point.  When we seek his Glory we step into a world in which we find our true purpose and true contentment in him.  Outside of Christ, we seek Truth or Grace.  In him, in the Cross, we find both.  For in Him alone, all things are possible.  Jesus IS Grace.  Jesus IS Truth.  Jesus is Love.  The Truth is that he had to die.  The Grace is that he did it for us.

Flannery O'Connor — 'All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful.'

Truth can be devastating.  You don't have to believe in anything to know that is true. "The Truth hurts." Truth needs Grace in order to be palatable.  Grace is oxygen to someone drowning under the weight of Truth.  Grace has Power.  But if that Grace is not anchored in Truth, then it too is impossible to receive, impossible to be trusted because it lacks authenticity.  Oxygen when you are not in need is taken for granted and rendered useless.  To speak the Truth to someone is to Love them and if you don't Love them first, then you render the Truth powerless.  So as we approach each other, seeking to offer Grace and Truth, we must rely on his words and his promises to do so.

1 Peter 3
15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,
Colossians 3
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

After the drive, I did have to repent to my daughter, who was somewhat unaware of all that was stirred up in my heart and head.  As I confessed my sinful approach to offering her and her sisters Truth without enough Grace, she graciously relieved me of guilt by saying "I know how much you Love me."  Thanks be to God!!!