Uncertainty.

“An optimist is a person who sees the future as uncertain.”  Howard Lindsay.

I heard Robert Downey quote this in his recent interview with David Letterman.  It was a passing quote, but it is rocking my world.  There is a lot there in a seemingly simple quote. 

Optimism is most often associated with positivity.  I suppose that’s fair.  But, as a self-diagnosed Pessimist I do not agree with the implications that a Pessimist is always negative.  A Pessimist can be a positive influence.  While we all need positive people in our lives, we cannot assume that an Optimist is always the right person for the job.  If an Optimist has a positive outlook during a time when reality tells us another story, then that positivity can feel insincere.  When things are going poorly, sometimes “That sucks” can feel a lot better than “Cheer up.”

Back to the quote.  “An optimist is a person who sees the future as uncertain.”  What a revelation.  Uncertainty is not the real cause of anxiety; it is our reaction to uncertainty that yields either a positive view or a negative one.  As a Pessimist I have a sliding scale of healthy and unhealthy states of being.  It’s a spectrum for sure.  But at the base of my Pessimism is the feeling that Life leans toward unpleasant and unwanted outcomes.  Over time, life yields to the grind and the friction will eventually become too much.  A Pessimists mind tends to calculate the worst and assume it’s likely.  But on the healthy end of the spectrum, this outlook can yield a lot of peace.  A healthy Pessimist can be a real asset.  Instead of being a negative influence, you may find that a Pessimist is exactly the person you want in a crisis.  When things are trending down, a Pessimist can develop a really hopeful outlook.  They’ve prepared themselves for the worst and well, reality seldom exceeds their imagination.  However, when a Pessimist is in a dark place, the Pessimism fuels a hopeless Determinism.  There is a feeling that you cannot change any outcomes and as a result, nothing matters.  It can be consuming.  There is an overwhelming certainty that feels impossible to escape from.  This is the counterpoint to the quote that is making my mind unsteady (in a good way).  For me, it is the certainty that kills.  I’ve seen the future and there is no stopping it.  To quote Homer Simpson, “Can’t win, don’t try.”  BUT, the future is not fixed!  And a true optimist sees this.  The future is uncertain, and the optimist could not be more thrilled.  Anything is possible.  And because they are prone to positivity, this is good news.  When things are bad for an Optimist, my guess is that it is because an unavoidable outcome has arrived.  The Optimist did not see it coming.  Their future became fixed and now they are sunk. 

It’s such a subtle game to manage our expectations.  Do we keep them so low that we cannot be disappointed, but as a result we lack hope?  Do we insist that the best is coming so much that it prevents us from accepting reality and we alienate people around us?

My brother loves the Dale Carnegie quote, “Expect the best and prepare for the worst.”  I find this to be such a bridge quote between us.  There are times when I live as if the quote is “Expect the worst.”  There have been times when someone’s attitude of “Expect the Best” makes me want to puke or punch them.  The truth and the path is somewhere in between.  If you are an Expect the Worst person, find yourself someone on the other side.  If you are an Expect the Best person, please oh please find yourself a realist for balance.

This is example number 6,450,399 of why we need each other.  This is at the heart of why community matters.  This is why diversity of thought and experience make us healthier, more fit human beings.  I don’t want to be around a bunch of positive people all the time.  That’s not real.  That’s not my experience.  But I do need an Optimist around to flavor my outlook, to challenge my tendency to go dark.  “Iron sharpens iron.”  Goodness, please don’t surround yourself that look and think exactly like you do.  Optimists and Pessimists agree, there is so much more to life.