Uncertainty.

“An optimist is a person who sees the future as uncertain.”  Howard Lindsay.

I heard Robert Downey quote this in his recent interview with David Letterman.  It was a passing quote, but it is rocking my world.  There is a lot there in a seemingly simple quote. 

Optimism is most often associated with positivity.  I suppose that’s fair.  But, as a self-diagnosed Pessimist I do not agree with the implications that a Pessimist is always negative.  A Pessimist can be a positive influence.  While we all need positive people in our lives, we cannot assume that an Optimist is always the right person for the job.  If an Optimist has a positive outlook during a time when reality tells us another story, then that positivity can feel insincere.  When things are going poorly, sometimes “That sucks” can feel a lot better than “Cheer up.”

Back to the quote.  “An optimist is a person who sees the future as uncertain.”  What a revelation.  Uncertainty is not the real cause of anxiety; it is our reaction to uncertainty that yields either a positive view or a negative one.  As a Pessimist I have a sliding scale of healthy and unhealthy states of being.  It’s a spectrum for sure.  But at the base of my Pessimism is the feeling that Life leans toward unpleasant and unwanted outcomes.  Over time, life yields to the grind and the friction will eventually become too much.  A Pessimists mind tends to calculate the worst and assume it’s likely.  But on the healthy end of the spectrum, this outlook can yield a lot of peace.  A healthy Pessimist can be a real asset.  Instead of being a negative influence, you may find that a Pessimist is exactly the person you want in a crisis.  When things are trending down, a Pessimist can develop a really hopeful outlook.  They’ve prepared themselves for the worst and well, reality seldom exceeds their imagination.  However, when a Pessimist is in a dark place, the Pessimism fuels a hopeless Determinism.  There is a feeling that you cannot change any outcomes and as a result, nothing matters.  It can be consuming.  There is an overwhelming certainty that feels impossible to escape from.  This is the counterpoint to the quote that is making my mind unsteady (in a good way).  For me, it is the certainty that kills.  I’ve seen the future and there is no stopping it.  To quote Homer Simpson, “Can’t win, don’t try.”  BUT, the future is not fixed!  And a true optimist sees this.  The future is uncertain, and the optimist could not be more thrilled.  Anything is possible.  And because they are prone to positivity, this is good news.  When things are bad for an Optimist, my guess is that it is because an unavoidable outcome has arrived.  The Optimist did not see it coming.  Their future became fixed and now they are sunk. 

It’s such a subtle game to manage our expectations.  Do we keep them so low that we cannot be disappointed, but as a result we lack hope?  Do we insist that the best is coming so much that it prevents us from accepting reality and we alienate people around us?

My brother loves the Dale Carnegie quote, “Expect the best and prepare for the worst.”  I find this to be such a bridge quote between us.  There are times when I live as if the quote is “Expect the worst.”  There have been times when someone’s attitude of “Expect the Best” makes me want to puke or punch them.  The truth and the path is somewhere in between.  If you are an Expect the Worst person, find yourself someone on the other side.  If you are an Expect the Best person, please oh please find yourself a realist for balance.

This is example number 6,450,399 of why we need each other.  This is at the heart of why community matters.  This is why diversity of thought and experience make us healthier, more fit human beings.  I don’t want to be around a bunch of positive people all the time.  That’s not real.  That’s not my experience.  But I do need an Optimist around to flavor my outlook, to challenge my tendency to go dark.  “Iron sharpens iron.”  Goodness, please don’t surround yourself that look and think exactly like you do.  Optimists and Pessimists agree, there is so much more to life.

Bicycle.

I gotta tell ya, I really love my bicycle.  I have two actually.  One, I bought new, ten or twelve years ago, it's a Raleigh comfort bike.  You know, the one you see the older guys cruising on, but a little sporty.  It's really nice. I spent more than I thought I would ever spend.  Nothing real crazy, but I went into a real bike shop instead of Target, got fitted and the whole deal.  But that's not the bike I'm talking about.  A few years ago I found a bike in the dumpster behind our house.  I was walking down the alley and saw it sticking out.  I walked by.  Then I slowly turned around and walked back to the dumpster.  I peak over the edge: trigger shifters, disc brakes...it's a Marin...nice.  So I pulled it out.  It was pretty beat up.  It has a big dent in the frame, the wheel was detached and there was still a U Lock on it.  "Crap." I thought.  It's probably stolen.  And if it's stolen, I'm going to have to find the owner.  But still I was excited.  So I carried it to the garage, took some pictures and copied the serial number down.  There wasn't much I could do with it until I got that lock off.  So I headed to Facebook, found a few bike groups in the area and posted to see if anyone was missing a bike.  I also called a couple local bike shops to see if they could track down the owner.  It had a sticker for a local shop, but they could not locate the records.  This bike was about 10 years old.  I even went on to a nationwide bike data base.  I looked up the price of this bike new and it was enough that someone would report it, about $700.  After a week or so of earnest detective work, I could not find a lead on the owner.  So i thought that I'd see if I could get the bike in working order and then if I found the owner, they'd be super stoked!  I spent several hours of embarrassing efforts to get the lock off with various tools and potions.  I will spare you the details.  But then it took all of two minutes once I got my neighbors angle grinder.  I really didn't need much to get the bike back together.  I ordered a pin for the front wheel and watched a few videos on adjusting the cables.  I tweaked the disc brakes and it was ready.  I also gave it a thorough cleaning.  It didn't look new, but it did look great...Badass actually.  

The Raleigh bike was meant as a transition to old age.  I had some back issues, so I didn't want a bike that was gonna hurt.  But even though this Marin had no shocks and a hard seat, it felt good immediately.  The set up of the bike was a lot more aggressive than my Raleigh.  The Raleigh was meant to be ridden upright.  This Marin was a lot leaner, a lot lighter and a lot faster.  I had a route that I took my Raleigh on, down Tower Grove Avenue to Forest Park, around the Park and back.  It' about 12 miles.  A decent ride.  When I took the Marin along this same route it felt like the wind was at my back the whole time.  I was flying up hills that I previously struggled on.  I felt like I could have made the trip twice and not be winded.  I was in love. 

All of that is far more backstory for what I really wanted to talk about.  It's two years later, no owner has shown up.  I've had a few tune ups, replaced a few parts and I still love the bike.  Every time I ride it feels like a gift.  And I love how beat up it looks, haggard like an old quarterback from the 70's.  As I was tinkering with it this evening I thought how bummed I'd be if it got stolen.  True to my pessimistic nature I was preparing myself for the inevitable day when I'd lose this gift and of course the Raleigh as well.  The Raleigh's been neglected, but I still love her too.  Then in pragmatic fashion I began to wonder what Insurance would cover.  As I considered the free gift, the depreciation of the bike, I also considered the replacement value.  Items like this have two values:  what they are worth if you are selling and then what they are worth if you had to replace it.  (Matt my insurance guy, you'll have to let me know what my coverage is.)  There's also sentimental value, but we won't get into that.  The Depreciated value of the bike is not good.  I don't know that anyone would look at the bike and offer more than $50, maybe $75.  But, to get a new bike, the Replacement Value for the same Bike is over $700.  And I was evaluating the difference between the two I had the simple thought.  It's the thought that this whole post is about.  In fact this post could have been two sentences, but I really wanted to talk about my bike.  Here it is: God values us at our Replacement Cost, not our Depreciated Cost.  Each person is in fact priceless, irreplaceable.  If any of us were lost and needed to be replaced, he wouldn't consider what condition we were in or what our depreciated value was.  No, he would flip to the catalog and view the original, mint condition model:  The JC Risen Cross Deluxe.  God values each of us as he does his only Son.  The proof of this is that he gave his most precious son as the Replacement for us, so that we would not be lost.  We may consider that when we were new, newborn, that we left the womb perfect.  Or if not perfect, at least pristine in nature and innocent.  But like a car leaving the dealership, we begin to depreciate right away.  By the time we are 3 or 4 we are well aware of what it means to be selfish and naughty...and good too for that matter.  We know the differnce.  In our more mature state, some of us already think ourselves worthless.  But in Christ we have the fulfilled promise that we are worth more, so much more than we could imagine.  We may have soiled what chances we have been given and left all hope in a dumpster.  But no matter what we have done, when it comes to our value to God, it is Jesus himself that sets the standard.  It is Jesus himself that is our hope.  Can you imagine, that if on your worst day, counting the cost of all the selfish things you have done, all the hidden dark thoughts, can you imagine that in that mood you could somehow hear from God and he said to you "You are more.  You are mine."  If you could start to believe that then you could start to imagine the world changing power of surrendering to Jesus.  It's not about getting more or following rules, it is about realizing your worth.  And that worth comes not through your own efforts, but by knowing who brought you in to existence.  And God so loved you, that he gave his only begotten son, for you, for the world.  I'm not saying that it makes sense.  But I am saying that it is real.  It's better than getting a new bike.  It's getting a new you.  

My friend Justin recently found the exact version of his childhood BMX bike.  He probably paid more than he should have, but it was an easy decision.  He was, and I assume he still is giddy with excitement to have it back in his life.  It was gone.  It is back and it's all the better because a chunk of his childhood, his innocence came back with it (not that he was ever that innocent).  The Replacement cost for him was calculated by more than the actual worth of the bike, but also the rarity, the nostalgia, and time itself was considered.  And really, the value of something is always determined by what someone is willing to pay.  My good, good friends, Our God calculated the Cost to have us back with him... and he gave all.  He gave himself.

Burning Down the House.

What if the goal of being rescued wasn't to save you from the burning building, but to put you in the arms of the Firefighter?

If you are my age and you grew up in the Church, particularly the Pentecostal version, you were given a fair dose of fear.  The fire.  The brimstone, whatever that is.  The full burning in hell scenario.  Visions of Cold War Nuclear Holocaust and the Rapture swirled together to give an overwhelming anxiety and great incentive to "Be Saved".  We always knew what we were being save "From", but no sense of who we were being saved "To".  We got a full dose of Lake of Fire in the sermon and then limp Felt Board Jesus in Sunday School, and there wasn't much of a connection between the two.  If you gave your heart to Jesus, he would keep you from Hell...but the happy guy in Sunday School class didn't seem up to the challenge.  As most of us got older, the fear subsided and we had no real vision of Jesus, we just knew that we weren't supposed to be doing bad stuff.  All that was left was an arbitrary guilt.  And then that guilt turned into resentment.  

The Goal of the Church was and is, to save people.  But in the history of "The Church" most of what we remember are the screw ups...how we as the church got it wrong.  God Bless 'em, they meant well.  But anytime we lead with anything other than the magnificence of Jesus, we are going to fall short...regardless of what the conversion stats say.  I mean, what's the point of being saved if there is nothing more than that act.  It's great in the moment, but long term, it is not enough.  I think about a scene in a movie or book and there is a man on the edge of a bridge about to commit suicide.  Maybe the sensitive protagonist talks him out of it, or Superman catches him as he falls.  That man is saved.  But if something doesn't change for him, eventually he's just going to find a bigger bridge.

Some of us knew we were in a burning building.  Some of us lit the match.  Sin is the cause and the effect of the burning building.  It is both the personal action of the person in peril and also the very circumstances that make the destruction possible.  Some folks were born into the burning building.  Some folks are standing just out side of it.  In the Christian community, the testimony of someone being rescued from certain self induced destruction can be one of the most powerful examples of what it means to be saved.  Knowing that you are facing life and death and all hope of you having the ability to save yourself is exhausted and then somehow, Jesus saves.  If you are a believer, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  If you are a skeptic, this probably sounds like a bumper sticker.  I wish I could change that.  But that's my story, a bumper sticker.  I was lost, then I was found.  I was dead, now I'm alive.  I was quietly burning inside my own destruction.  I quietly whispered a half hearted plea into my chest.  Jesus quietly took me by the hand and led me out.  The better story is not the burning building, but Jesus continuing to offer his hand even when I let go.  He is leading me.  And when I let him, it is marvelous, the most precious thing to experience.  We talk a lot in the church about being saved, being talked off the ledge, pulled from the river and rescued from the building as it collapses.  I suppose it makes for a better headline, easier to digest in a church service.  But the bigger and better story is Jesus.  He rescues us not that we can just be safe, but exactly so that we can be with him.  And if skeptics aren't able to get a sense of Jesus' Love from you, then 30 minutes of describing how hot the fire is is NOT going to do the job.  Being safe is good, being with Jesus is better.  

1 Corinthians 1:
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

Self Destruction is not a problem for everyone.  Not everyone is in the arson game.  Some folks are in pretty good shape, strong and capable.  They stand out side the burning building and they can't understand any of it.  Why would someone start a fire?  Why would they go into the fire?  Why don't they come out of the fire?  Now, certainly, the person in the building KNOWS they need saved.  That doesn't always happen.  They can't always accept it and they may perish under the flames of their own matches.  But these folks on the outside have no sense that they need to be saved.  They are slowly consuming the carbon monoxide to their own doom.  They may perish never understanding what all the fuss was about.  We have to be able show people the magnificence of a savior who would come into the wretched fire of these lives, giving up himself to make a way for all of us to be with him forever.  If we cannot demonstrate the beauty of Christ, then no amount of hellfire is going to make sense.  They need to be saved, just like everyone who has ever lived.  But the whole point of being saved is to be with Jesus.  Heaven is only Heaven because Jesus is there...He is the prize!  He is worthy.  And we get to be a part of his rescue mission.  As others look at Christian who are active in the care of this world and it's people,  I pray that our lives are so full of Jesus that we cannot help but attract others...make 'em say "Huh, wonder what that's all about?"

Jesus Birth is God taking on flesh and walking into the burning building and feeling the very real pain of sin.  His Death means that he takes our place in the destruction that we might be saved.  His Resurrection means that he walks out of death.  He has saved us TO something, to life with him.  And why wouldn't we want to be with a God that would do all of this for us!

Outcomes.

Mark 10:17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 

Proof of a Broken World (God's Wrath toward his Creation):  Bad things happen to "good" people.

Proof that God's Love/Blessing is unconditional:  Good things happen to "bad" people.

On the surface this looks like, feels like and smells like injustice.  In fact, this apparent unfairness is a reason that many people believe that either there cannot be a God or that if there is a God, he/she cannot be Good.  But the ability to discern any kind of justice or fairness at all reveals our hearts desire for it.  We crave justice in our very core.  And that craving comes from...where?  

We all set up the equation and criteria based on what we already believe.  I am no exception.  I am doing it right now.  But even in periods of extreme doubt, maybe because of periods of doubt, the only criteria or equation that can resolve this seeming paradox is this: Only God is Good.

And while that may be an unsatisfactory answer to someone searching for meaning, it doesn't mean that it is not true.  In relation to God's perfection and holiness, there are no "good" people.  We all deserve "bad" outcomes.  In that context, any good thing is Grace, our very existence is Mercy, and Justice itself belongs to God.  We crave Justice yes, but we also crave the Justice giver.  But if we can comprehend that even the best of us is fatally flawed then we will crave Mercy and Grace even more...and we will want it not just for ourselves, but for everyone.

Only God is good and everything else falls short.
Mercy means that he has not destroyed us, we continue to exist.  God has withheld judgement.
Grace means that he has poured out his Love on all, without exception, making a way to his Love for anyone who seeks it.  If only God is good, then no one actually deserves his Grace, yet it is available anyway.
Justice means that because of this gap between us and God, there must be a reckoning if we are to be together with him.  A cost must be paid to account for our shortcomings.  A price must be paid to be in his presence.
Love means that God has made a way, that in his desire for all of his creation to be made whole he has made the ultimate sacrifice.  That is why Christ's Death and Resurrection is everything.  God died for us and rose again to be with us.  

Jesus remains the answer to everything, he is God's Love...he is God.  We cannot earn it and we cannot remove it.

Ephesians 2:1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.