Waiting.

I wait here, thinking I'm patient.  I'm waiting on the Lord I tell myself.  Things will be better soon.  I list in my mind all of my worries and tell myself that they won't always be there.  I think of how the world needs to be in order to accommodate me.  These are sincere thoughts and desires and yet they seem so silly as I write them out now.  I know better don't I?  Do I?  Apparently not.

I wait.  But even in my waiting I stop short of the Glory of God.  Almost immediately after I feel God's work in my life, his presence and revelation, I start to think about what it means for me.  This isn't what I'm built for.  I'm not here to work on my career, my family, my rapier wit.  I'm here to work for, Love and be Loved by the Creator of the Universe.  In finding my true place, I find myself blessed beyond all measure.  That's just who God is: Good.

But still I wait.  And I think it a noble sort of waiting.  But here is what I realized today: I'm praying and waiting for God to reveal something about me.  The better portion would be to ask God to reveal TO me, something about himself.

"Hey Mozart, man did you compose some amazing music.  Instead of learning more about you, I'd like you to hear the three chord song I wrote on my guitar."

I have chosen the lesser portion.  I have chosen myself.  Jesus is infinitely more interesting than everything else in the Universe combined.  And yet I thought I had known all of him.  I was getting frustrated trying to apply his teachings without desiring to know him.  I was plucking away at the Turkish March hoping to impress Mozart.  But when you have an audience with Greatness, it is better to sit and learn.

When we wait on the Lord, we should expect more than learning an interesting tidbit about our spiritual development.  We should expect nothing less than the Great and Might King to overwhelm us and teach us about himself.

Mary chose the good portion.

Luke 10:38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”